However, lost in our Christmas traditions is the idea that children should also use the holiday to give to others.
So instead of just having them fill out their Christmas wish list, you might also consider helping them to fill out another one, which focuses on how they can give to others. For the parent, this requires skill, patience, and the willingness to gently challenge their kids natural resistance.
Having boys that are six and nine, I personally realize this can be quite the challenge. Mine prefer to focus on their stockings being stuffed and the their trees overflowing with presents underneath. Ultimately, their definition of a great Christmas is in proportion to what they receive.
However, training them how to be givers is a characteristic that God wants me and all parents to help them to develop. The apostle Paul once told the church in Corinth, who were great givers, to always make sure their hearts were right when they gave. He once wrote, "The point is this whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9: 6-7)."
Many tend to view this Scripture as merely pertaining to giving to your church. However, the principle that underscores this whole chapter is that there are people who are in need, (In Paul's case, the starving saints at Jerusalem) and we should use such a reality to give freely to others.
I love the sowing and sparing analogy. Farmers in general do not hold tightly to their sacks of seeds. They do not say to themselves, "Should I sow these or keep them to myself this season in my life." No farmers gladly sow because they realize, without hesitation, that how they sow will determine the reward of their crop. In the same way, Paul says we also should gladly give to those in need with that same kind of expectation. How we give will put us in position to receive more. However, here is the kicker: it MUST be done with a glad heart.
That of course is the challenging task for parents and their children. Helping them to understand and experience giving with a glad heart. When I talk about giving with my children, their initial response is not a glad heart, it is a sad and reluctant one! Furthermore, if they do give, they feel obligated out of compulsion. In other words, they feel forced. "Do I have too!" As parents, working thru this reality is a delicate area. In general, here are some ways we can help them develop a glad heart.
1. Don't ask them to initially give too much. Instead, as the passage says, let them determine in their hearts how much they should give. Don't be surprised if it is very little, growing in giving is a characteristic that has to be developed. Remember, our culture has indoctrinated our children to believe that Christmas is all about them receiving. Consequently, giving, even at a minute level, is a step in the right direction.
2. Model the importance of giving our time. This is an area where parents can partner with their children and show how we can use our spare time to do something for others. Some examples include, volunteering together at a soup kitchen or creatively helping them make their own Christmas cards. Even helping them to make Christmas cookies for others is a way where kids can experience what it means to give while using their free time.
3. Have them watch videos of kids in need. Instead of letting them watch the same old shows they like, have them watch videos of kids that have nothing, yet rejoice at the prospect of receiving even the smallest gifts. Go to Netflix or YouTube and watch organizations that help others during Christmas like Operation Christmas Child or Compassion International. As parents, we have to realize that we have to make that extra effort to help our children be aware of the needs of other children.
4. Allow the idea of giving to simmer, by talking about it early December. Let's face it, December is a busy month. We have Christmas cards to mail, work parties to attend, homes to decorate, gifts to buy and cookies to bake. However, we must remember, the reluctant heart is not slowly changed overnight. Our children need time to learn, to process, and to prepare themselves to give what God has put on their heart. We must understand, developing a heart that does not give reluctantly or out of compulsion needs time to simmer, time to shape, time to mold. Change is a slow process for everyone, and it requires time for our kids to fight it, ponder it, and ultimately settle their hearts on what they can do with hearts that turn glad.
Final Thoughts: There are many ways we can teach our kids the value of being givers, whether it reflects the ways mentioned earlier or altering your gift buying practices by purchasing a book through organizations like Better World Books http://www.toms.com/ where for every pair of shoes you buy, that same pair is donated by the company to another kid who lives in a poverty stricken third world climate.
In the end, giving is a very important character trait that must off-set the consumer mentality that if often associated with our children. We must find ways that enable them to move toward glad giving hearts, even if ever so slightly. We must help them soften their stance from only being "takers" to becoming better "givers."
Yes, It will be a process, but we must remember that we are helping our children to develop that sowing and reaping biblical pattern that will enable them to sow in faith and eventually reap an abundant future.
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